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1Peter 1:1-7
1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewellery, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honour to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
3:1-2
When we read this we need to remember that Peter is speaking to Christians who are realising that being Christians means they are subject to a new king. So when he addresses wives, he is not talking to 21st century women and trying to reduce their freedom, but rather to 1st century women who were thinking that by becoming Christians they were no longer required to continue the same social patterns that they did before. He is saying that they need to continue to honour their husbands, and not use Christianity as an excuse to dishonour them because they have not yet become Christians. This is true of all our relationships when we become Christians. Our relationship with God does not allow us to reject others, or to become disrepectful (e.g of parents). We remain in the situation that we were in before we were Christians; cf. 1 Corinthians 7:20 " Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called."This kind of behaviour is far more likely to win people over than a rebellious attitude. 3:3-4
Is he telling women not to wear beautiful things? A lot hangs on the word "adorning". The NIV says "beauty"; "Kosmos" is the Greek - literally translated "system" (This is Strong's definitions - 1) an apt and harmonious arrangement or constitution, order, government 2) ornament, decoration, adornment, i.e. the arrangement of the stars, 'the heavenly hosts', as the ornament of the heavens.). Personally I feel he is not interested in what women wear, we need to understand that these things do not confer beauty. But it is the internal things that are true beauty, and which are imperishable. Is it the case that women are more susceptible to looking for outward beauty than men? Interesting that the word "spirit" is used. It is not necessarily about being a quiet person, but rather having a quiet inner life. A calm, gentle, peaceful, and unworried spirit is a precious thing to God. This is what we should be cultivating, whether or not we are women.
3:5-6
Peter draws on the past to encourage Christian women not to rebel against their non-Christian husbands. He refers to Sarah. If we look at the story in Genesis (Gen. 18:12), she uses the word lord in a comment to herself and in an almost humorous way. The priority here is respect for husbands and submission to their leadership. Not in a slavish way, as with Sarah & Abraham, but in a respectful way. It is important that submission does not involve fear and is good, not false. Does Peter intend that Christian marriages should be the same, or are they in a different situation as both husband and wife are believers? Are these instructions mainly for unbelieving husbands so that they can be one over to the Lord in a culture where women were generally seen as secondary to men? Christian women should not fear having to submit to their non Christian husbands because God will use it for blessing.
3:7
Once again, is Peter addressing husbands with non-Christian wives, or husbands in general. The 2nd part of the verse suggests he is thinking of Christian marriages, or maybe he assumes that a Christian man's wife will also be Christian.
Husbands need to be understanding and give honour to one who is weaker. What does it mean that they are weaker? Physically certainly: strength, menstruation, lactation and gestation. Emotionally weaker? Sometimes, but sometimes not.
They are co-heirs of God's grace, not second class Christians. Dishonouring and misunderstanding your wife hinders your prayers - any married Christian can agree with that.
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