In response to my last post on this page, someone from my church emailed me with a helpful response:

"You make some good basic points, but the overall tone of the article is implicitly approving of dating (just suggesting that maybe you don't want to date a non-Christian). I personally think that we tie ourselves in knots over this because we are too open to the view of society: that you are only 'whole' when you have a partner, and that you should shop around until you find the right one... (more of my thoughts on this here: http://andymoore.wordpress.com/2007/10/26/singles-church/)
Church (in general, not specifically CG) should stand up more for wholeness as individuals in Christ - that we don't need anybody other than Jesus to complete us, and if we're looking for that, we're in trouble... We should also stop talking about marriage as the ideal, and affirm singleness as actually a good idea. "

This morning I was reading 1Corinthians chapter 7 (bible) again. And was struck by how enthusiastic the passage is about being single. It really does lay out the benefits of not being married. I recommend anyone to read it.

Cheers,

Matt

When I became a Christian 17 years ago, this was one of the moral issues that I had to wrestle with before I could get started on my journey of faith. I was quite into dating girls, and the idea of cutting off 90% of the opportunities seemed a problem. However, I came to the conclusion that part of my Christian commitment meant that I would only date and marry a girl who was a Christian.
Why did I reach that conclusion? Well it seemed to be the idea that was shared by some of my friends who were also becoming Christians. And the advice I got from more mature members of the church was that "going out" with someone who wasn't a Christian was very likely to badly affect my walk with God - and also give extra things that could go wrong with a relationship or marriage.
Having been married for 12 years, and involved in the lives of many married couples as a pastor - I know that marriage comes with a lot of challenges - and that a Christian marrying a non-Christian (apologies for the phrase "non-Christian", I haven't found anything better) would add a number of extra challenges that any couple could do without.
What does the bible say? Well the place that I normally go on this one can be found in 2Corinthians 6:
"14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
17 Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you,
18 and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.”

It speaks about being unequally yoked (the metaphor is two oxen pulling a plough) with an unbeliever? What exactly does this mean? Is it any kind of relationship or connection with an "unbeliever" - such as a business partnership - or does it only refer to closer connections? There is definately some room for interpretation here - I'd value anyone's thoughts on this.

I am still of the mind that a Christian who marries or dates a non-Christian is asking for problems. How can we share our lives with someone who doesn't share the most important thing that we have in life - our relationship with God?

But, many non-Christians are kind and would make a great husband or wife (sometimes better than many Christians). As a pastor I am also faced with the fact that there are more women practicsing as Christians than men. This creates extra challenges.

I am looking for some of your thoughts on this. It's an important issue - potentially life determining for some.